The five stages of grief defined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ros are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The TEN stages of grief as defined by MOI are shock, energizer bunny, fat, doormat, fatter, cheese-stands-alone, exercise, pissed-off, lost and, my favorite, JOY. I’ll skip shock to protect the innocent; let’s just say, no matter how ready you are, death is shocking.
“The more we are restricted within ourselves, the more unhappy we become. We were always meant to explore and go beyond, to have more experiences, to learn more, to enrich our world. It’s our souls purpose to explore and enhance who we are.” — Dr. Mary Ann Pellegrino EdD, The InnerTouch School.
New Year — New Format! I thought I’d mix it up a bit and add recorded media to my BLOG.
A few weeks ago I was invited to be a guest on WebTalkRadio. The show is called Architect of Change hosted by Connie Whitman of Whitman and Associates. We recorded the show on December 29th and it was the perfect end to an amazing year. I was nervous, happy, confident and sad all during the same 30-minute conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and I hope you find the discussion entertaining.
Now stop trying to click the photo at the header of the BLOG and checkout WEB TALK RADIO: Architect of Change
Have a great week,
Some of my greatest adventures are memorialized on my Christmas tree. Our first Christmas together and baby’s, baby’s, baby’s first Christmas. I have ornaments that were gifts from friends and family and mementos I’ve collected from cities far and wide. There are ornaments from past roommates, old boy friends and favorite clients.
Over the years I’ve added homemade treasures that include school photos, painted shells, crystal snowflakes and glittered pine cones. I have a peanut wise man who my grandfather made when he was 8 and a beer can cut and decorated to look like a holiday wreath. These are the ornaments I value the most!
You can tell a lot about a family by how their Christmas tree is decorated. Our tree shouts family and friends, pets, movies, love and loss. Which I guess pretty much describes us?
Today is my 23rd wedding anniversary; the traditional gift is silver, which symbolizes beauty. Grab a glass of wine and look at the beauty that is reflected in your Christmas tree — what adventures do you remember? Send me a note.
You don’t have a tree? Call me; I’m happy to share!
Have a great week,
Let me start by saying, I have a varied set of interests, and when I heard a local farm had a newborn calf in residence I knew I had to get in on the action! Now cows are not the most active animals on the farm but mere words cannot explain the excitement I felt when I crossed the farm and stepped into the barn. My first introduction was to Gus and Ada and I have to admit, I wasn’t sure if they were horses or big cows. Don’t judge. Comparatively speaking it’s easier to tell the difference when you get a closer look. Horses. Yes, they were definitely horses.
Next I met Blossom (heifer no babies), Daisy (cow named after the flower), Lilly (cow and my new BFF) and Dazey (cow named after the butter churn). Alongside Dazey, was her beautiful yet to be named calf who is lovingly pictured above. His tangle of legs, snugly brown color and big soulful eyes had me wondering — could I live and work on a farm full-time? I mentioned this to my guide and she replied, “After reading your BLOG, you could probably do anything” and that’s the point, I CAN do anything. I can take an hour off and witness the beauty that is a cow. So while it wasn’t a far-flung adventure, it did offer a great sense of accomplishment and joy.
What did I do you might ask? I milked Lilly but that’s a story for another time…
Have a great week!
Thursday, November 19th was National Children’s Grief Awareness Day. In honor of the people who lovingly dedicate their time to support our grieving children, I’m re-posting a BLOG I wrote describing our personal grief experience.
So, is there such a thing as Good grief? Good food? Yes. Good wine? Absolutely! But Good grief, who knew? As parents of triplets, Chris and I were a team; disciplined and organized. Three babies, two parents? No problem. Changing, feeding, dressing, reading, math, history; somehow, we got it done. After Chris died, I wondered how I would adjust to raising kids, managing a home and running a business. When it came to grief, we just ambled along. I asked the kids questions from the age appropriate checklists. Are you angry? Are you depressed? Do you understand that Dad is never coming back? No, no and yes. We were fine, right? Life went on. So what if I cried in the car every day and I took five-hour naps? We still got up, got dressed and did homework.
We. Were. Fine.
Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand. – Patti Smith
Last year this quote added a bit of a tail to the drifting kite that was my life. At the time, I didn’t know who Patti Smith was but I made a vow to personally thank her for the light she brought into my life. Fast-forward, I’ve repeated the quote many times and when I sat to research Patti, I realized the full genesis of her quote and immediately fell in love.
For those of you who don’t quite understand the artistic differences between Patty Smyth, Patti Scialfa and Patti Smith, let me explain; Patty Smyth is the artist who’s famous for the songs The Warrior and Goodbye to You. Patti Scialfa is the stunning red-head that was the first permanent female member of the E-Street Band. The Patti Smith who initially voiced the prophetic quote at the beginning of this BLOG is a true Renaissance woman. She’s a painter, a poet an author and a singer. She’s a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend. In 1978 she released Because the Night a song she co-wrote with Bruce Springsteen. Bruce would go on to re-release the song in 1986 followed by a rendition released by 10,000 Maniacs in 1993. Ironically, Patti’s resume as a musician doesn’t come close to describing the genius of the person I met on Saturday at The Music Hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. [Read more…]
If you live anywhere north of exit 145 on the Garden State Parkway you know that when I say, “he had sugar” I’m talking about diabetes. In honor of National Diabetes Month, I thought I’d throw out a few words on the topic of “sugar”. According to the American Diabetes Association, diabetes is the 7th leading cause of death in the United States. 29.1 million people have diabetes and, it’s currently projected, that at least 1 in 3 people will develop the disease in their lifetime. [Read more…]