The Art of Living Lost: Secrets Behind the Fall of Wonder Woman

My friends call me Wonder Woman, which always makes me laugh because while they find me unique in what I accomplish, it’s their daily demands that secretly fuel my need to be everything to everyone. Or more accurately, they make me believe it’s admirable to be a crazy woman – working, loving, and caring for all the things in my life until I privately crash with exhaustion. It’s this collapse that has inspired me to share the details of my descent into overwhelming loss, revealing how that experience helped me discover my real strength, appreciating that the best thing about being lost is the joy you discover along the way!

When my husband Chris passed away in January, it was the end of a defining chapter in my life. He was one of the few people who knew me; he gave me the courage to be big and bold, understanding that behind my big persona was a shy woman. I met Chris when I was 24, and we dated and were married for 23 years. I only mention this as a point of comparison; in the 24 years I lived before Chris, I learned to walk, talk, ride a bike and drive a car. In the 23 years I lived with Chris, I learned to earn an income and to be a wife and mother. After Chris died, there was a fundamental shift in my existence; many of the pieces of my life no longer fit together.

The good news is that while parts of my soul were torn away, other bits grew in their place. Words like fortitude, honor, freedom, and strength tiptoed into my vocabulary. It’s hard to watch your husband be zippered into a bag and taken away by the coroner. It’s harder to tell your children, “your father is dead.” That’s grit. Expecting your mother-in-law to live with you and share in the joy of your kid’s lives forever, that’s an honor. Buying a home based solely on your earned income to debt ratio; that’s freedom. Getting out of bed every day; that requires a strength that even I can’t describe.

Welcome to my joy-filled journey.

 

The Art of Living Lost: Live and Learn

C6A9CD80-4877-4CC2-B0C9-5263ADFA4829

C6A9CD80-4877-4CC2-B0C9-5263ADFA4829

Last week I participated in a business discussion where the speaker explained that “timeless lessons” were learned from classic books.” Specifically, he mentioned that Bill Gates took week-long read-only vacations, and Warren Buffet has a “voracious reading habit.” While these references were impressive, it was his curious mention of Thomas Jefferson that captured my imagination.

[Read more…]

The Art of Living Lost: Manifestations and Mantras

IMG_3611

IMG_3611

A few years ago, my kids and I were driving to the beach, knowing parking would be horrendous, I said, “let’s try to manifest a parking space.” Come on, guys, imagine the perfect space; we pull right in, grab our towels, and run to the beautiful, blue waters edge.

Got it? Now keep that picture in your mind; pleasant and relaxing. Beautiful and blue.

[Read more…]

The Art of Living Lost: Yeesh,

IMG_3532

I can’t think of one, blasted thing to write about.

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

My grocery bag did break on Monday but the experience did not yield a lost to joy moment.

So?  I’ve got nothing.  Except,

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

And for this, I am grateful.  Have a great week,

The Art of Living Lost: No Moo for You!

IMG_1468 (1)

IMG_1461 (1)

Last week, I promised to write the last account of my trip to India.  As I typed, I realized there was no way I could include a lost to joy moment and, while I’m disappointed, I’d feel worse if I made you read a sucky post.  So instead, I’m going to pull the plug on India and prepare for the upcoming holidays.

Have a great week,