The Art of Living Lost: Secrets Behind the Fall of Wonder Woman

My friends call me Wonder Woman, which always makes me laugh because while they find me unique in what I can do, they never write to Regis and Kelly or Kelly and Michael extolling the graces of my life well lived. Instead, they secretly fuel my need to be everything to everyone. Or more accurately, they make me believe it’s admirable to be a crazy woman – working, loving, and caring for all the things in my life until I privately crash with exhaustion. It’s this collapse that has inspired me to share the details of my descent into overwhelming loss revealing how that experience helped me discover my true strength; appreciating that the best thing about being lost is the joy you discover along the way!

When my husband Chris passed away in January, it was the end of a defining chapter in my life. He was one of the few people who knew me; he gave me the courage to be big and bold and understood that behind the big, was the small. I met Chris when I was 24 and we dated and were married for 23 years. I only mention this as a point of comparison; in the 24 years I lived before Chris, I learned to walk, talk, ride a bike and drive a car. In the 23 years I lived with Chris, I learned to earn an income and to be a wife and mother. After Chris died there was such a fundamental shift in my existence; many of the pieces of my life no longer fit together.

The good news is, that while parts of my soul were seemingly torn away, other bits grew in their place. Words like fortitude, honor, freedom and strength tiptoed into my vocabulary. It’s hard to watch your husband be zippered into a bag and taken away by the coroner. It’s harder to tell your children, “your fathers dead”. That’s fortitude. Expecting your mother-in-law to live with you and share in the joy of your kid’s lives forever, that’s honor. Buying a home based solely on your earned income to debt ratio; that’s freedom. Getting out of bed every day; that requires a strength that even I can’t describe.

Welcome to my joy-filled journey.

 

The Art of Living Lost: In the Beginning

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ScanOn Sunday I was leading a pack of boys scouts through the requirements for the Public Speaking merit badge; one of the boys, well spoken, lost track of his thoughts when speaking about his beloved sport, basketball.  When he was done, I suggested the next time he delivered a speech he imagine it with a beginning, middle and an end.

Afterwards, I wondered if maybe I was having a hard time writing my book because I’d not started in the beginning?  So here we go, from the very beginning of my lost to joy journey; take a deep breath as this will be infinitely harder for you to read then for me to write.  XXOO,

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The Art of Living Lost: Live and Learn

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Last week I participated in a business discussion where the speaker explained that “timeless lessons could be learned from classic books”.  Specifically he mentioned that Bill Gates took week-long read-only vacations and Warren Buffet has a “voracious reading habit”.  While these references were interesting, it was his curious mention of Thomas Jefferson that captured my imagination.

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The Art of Living Lost: Manifestations and Mantras

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IMG_3611A few years ago my kids and I were driving to the beach, knowing parking would be horrendous, I said, “let’s try to manifest a parking space”.  Come on guys, simply imagine the perfect space; we pull right in, grab our towels and run to the beautiful, blue waters edge.

Got it?  Now keep that picture in your mind; nice and relaxing.  Beautiful and blue.

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The Art of Living Lost: Yeesh,

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I can’t think of one, blasted thing to write about.

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

My grocery bag did break on Monday but the experience did not yield a lost to joy moment.

So?  I’ve got nothing.  Except,

Kids are good.  Mr. Rogers is happy.  Work is humming along.

And for this, I am grateful.  Have a great week,

The Art of Living Lost: No Moo for You!

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Last week, I promised to write the last account of my trip to India.  As I typed, I realized there was no way I could include a lost to joy moment and, while I’m disappointed, I’d feel worse if I made you read a sucky post.  So instead, I’m going to pull the plug on India and prepare for the upcoming holidays.

Have a great week,